31 Days to a Happy Husband comes out this Wednesday…so I will be blogging for the next 31 days about the five keys that will bring out the happy in your husband.

The five keys spell the word D-R-E-A-M.

When you stood and pledged yourself in marriage to the man you loved with all your heart, you dreamed of happily ever after.  And guess what?  Reality doesn’t have to rob that dream from you.

The D in DREAM is Domestic Tranquility:  Your husband needs a peaceful haven.

Peaceful, not perfect.

I write in Day 1 of my book,

When I heard that CHAOS stood for “Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome,” I could relate!  I can’t completely blame my two-, five- and seven-year-old for the mess, but they certainly contribute to the clutter factor in my home.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m no Martha Stewart.  My idea of a home cooked meal is grilled chicken, broccoli and rice.  That’s pretty much 3 ingredients total.

You won’t catch me doing linens on Mondays, mopping on Wednesdays, and cleaning the blinds every other Friday.  One fine day, I was actually cleaning the blinds downstairs.  James, alarmed that the kids were messing with something fragile, yelled down from upstairs, “What’s that noise?!”

“It’s me, cleaning the blinds!” I yelled back.

He was speechless for a few moments and then retorted, “We’ve been married 12 years and I’ve NEVER heard you clean the blinds!”

I’m still full of surprises!

It’s okay if your home isn’t picture perfect.  What’s important is that you do your best to create a warm and peaceful environment for your husband and your kids if you have them.

My husband is a realtor so he spends much of his day looking at homes that are neat and clean.  So you can imagine coming home to a whirlwind of messy countertops, toys on the floor, and clutter everywhere can be, uh, jarring.

The kids and I are doing are best to keep our piles to a minimum.  This involves daily commands like “Put your toys away.  Are you finished with that?  Don’t get another toy out until you’ve put away your puzzle.”

It also involves a few hours worth of sorting and purging every six months or so.

But at the end of it all, when you can see your countertops and most everything has a place, you do actually breathe a little easier.  When the doorbell rings, you don’t panic.  By no means is my home perfect, but it is presentable.

Of course more important than a neat home is a home that is warm and full of love.  In the book I talk about invisible and visible calm.  I love what John Fuller, host of Focus on the Family said:

A spic and span home and a wife who’s on top of everything may be secondary to more important things like:  What’s the tone of the home?  What’s the character that we’re working on?  What’s the sense of the Holy Spirit’s presence here?  I don’t want to be in a pristine home that doesn’t have God at the heart of it.

What have you done to make your home a haven for your husband?  What little things make a big difference in your household?  (Please share your tips so we can do it too!)



Arlene Pellicane

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