Husband:  Let’s have sex.

Wife:  I’m not in the mood.

Husband:  Why aren’t you ever in the mood?

Wife:  Why are you always in the mood?

Sound familiar?  Yep, me too.  The other day James gave me a homework assignment.  Write about what helps get a wife in the mood for sex.  I guess he has a vested interest in this homework!

I have found there are two factors that stand in the way many times:  Fatigue and Frustration.  You can watch a video about it here.

Fatigue:  Sometimes you are just plain too tired at the end of the day to be a sexy, turned on woman!

Solution:  Have a date night that includes sex in the next week.  Have the kids at a babysitters or put them to bed early.  I know couples who had their kids watch videos or play with toys reserved only for date night while mom and dad had a late candlelight dinner at home.  Yes this takes effort but it is worth it to keep close to your hubby!

When you are working and/or when you have kids, it’s hard to find the energy for sex when you’ve been going at high speed all day.  Carve out time on a regular basis when everything else stops except your lovelife.  That’s time well planned!

Frustration:  You may be frustrated with your husband (thus the mood killer) or frustrated at work, with your body image, kids, etc.

Solution:  If you are frustrated with your spouse, you must work that out first.  Sometimes that means getting alone with God in prayer, forgiving your husband for past hurts and moving on.  Other times, that means having a conversation with your husband and ironing out your differences.  He may not even realize he is causing frustration.

You can keep a “worry journal” to help defuse your frustrations.  Write about your concerns and turn them into prayers to God.  I Peter 5:7 says to cast your cares on Him, for He cares for you.  Soon you’ll be able to turn that worry journal into a praise journal, as God answers your prayers and gives you peace.

Tomorrow, I’ll reveal one of the easiest thing you can do to get and stay in the mood according to many experts I interviewed for 31 Days to a Happy Husband.


Arlene Pellicane

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