We’re going from one hot topic (the E in DREAM which is Eros) to another hot topic (the A in DREAM which is Attraction).  Your husband needs to be attracted to you. 

I love the lyrics of Shania Twain’s song You’re Still the One: 

You’re still the one I run to

the one that I belong to

You’re still the one I want for life

You’re still the one that I love

The only one I dream of

You’re still the one I kiss good night

The reality is that for most men, they need to stay physically attracted to their wives to enjoy a dream marriage.  The visual for men is so much more important than for women.  You can argue all you want about the unfairness or shallowness of this, but it is what it is.

Of course we are going to age and things are going to happen to our bodies.  No doubt.

But what about being a healthy weight (or working towards a healthy weight) and doing our best to be attractive for our husbands?

Too many of us let ourselves go in our appearance after we say I do.  Once in a while, James and I will see a 40 something year old woman who is incredibly fit and attractive.  James will lean over and say to me, “Single.”  After I hit him, I usually find out that he’s right.

His point is that when a woman is trying to catch a man, she will go to great lengths to get in shape, wear flattering clothes, and do her hair and makeup.

Friends, we can learn from this woman and say, “Why can’t I get into shape and fix my hair and makeup for my spouse?”

This doesn’t mean you have to spend hours at the gym or in front of the mirror before you see your husband.  But isn’t it true that we’ll spend more effort on our appearance meeting a girlfriend for coffee than we would if we were just going to spend an evening at home with our husband?

Our girlfriend doesn’t care that much but believe me, your husband does.  You want him to look at you with a smile and say, “Yup!  She’s still the one.”

This isn’t a popular message for women to hear.  What do you think about your husband’s need to find you attractive?  And keep in mind this doesn’t mean you have to be a certain size or body shape.  Your husband is attracted to YOU, that’s why he married you.  Do you look reasonably close to the woman he married?

Are you still the one? 


Arlene Pellicane