Part of living a DREAM marriage with your husband is providing him with Domestic Tranquility which is the D in DREAM.

That can be especially challenging when one of you is unemployed, underemployed or overemployed.  Since many families are dealing with unemployment right now, I thought it would be especially helpful to a put a chapter in 31 Days to a Happy Husband about supporting your husband through unemployment.

In my book, you’ll read about Sam who lost his job eleven times in twelve months (and you thought your situation was bad!).  It was a financial nightmare for Sam and his wife Maria.

As a new Christian, Maria prayed fervently “How long, Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen?”  (Habakkuk 1:2a).  She didn’t understand how but childlike faith took over and Maria dramatically changed her attitude.  “I stopped acting like a damsel in distress and became, instead, the builder and keeper of a fortress for our family.  I became an oasis for my husband’s weary mind and body, so God could renew his strength before another day of battle.”

Maria proposed a crazy plan.  They would pawn his shotgun, rifle and her wedding ring to start a husband and wife cleaning business.  They walked out of the pawnshop with $180 which they used for groceries, diapers, gas, bright yellow fliers for their new business, matching shorts and T-shirts, old towels at the thrift store, brooms, buckets and squeegees.  They needed $1,300 in seven days or they would be evicted.

As God would have it, an old acquaintance asked what they were up to.  Turns out she managed a building that needed the inside windows of twelve floors cleaned.  Would they be willing to do it for $1,300 – the exact amount they needed.  Maria remembers,

“For six consecutive nights, Sam and I cleaned windows and glass office partitions from 6:00 pm until 3:00 am, talking about God’s goodness until we were too tired to scrub, squeegee, and talk at the same time. I had never felt so tired and refreshed at the same time, and this was just the beginning of the journey!”

Your employment challenges can make or break your relationship with your husband.  I love Maria’s example of turning herself into a window washing entrepreneur.  She didn’t sulk or shame her husband for his bad luck in the workplace.  Instead she decided to be the builder and keeper of the fortress.  An oasis.

When your family is going through tough times, make it your aim to be that for your man.  The builder and keeper of the fortress.  An oasis.

That kind of love will keep your family afloat until sunnier times come.

How has unemployment or overemployment challenged your marriage?


Arlene Pellicane

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