We’re talking about one of the most important keys to your husband’s heart:  the E in DREAM which is Eros.  Your husband needs a fulfilling sex life (and so do you as we learned in the last post).

In my book 31 Days to a Happy Husband, I write about something that killed my lovelife one night.  Garlic hummus.  On my breath.  While I was pregnant.

When James’ commented on my strong breath, the romantic evening ended abruptly.

What’s killing your love life lately?  Since it’s probably not garlic, maybe you’re struggling with:

I am hurt by something my husband said.  While it’s true our husbands can say things that require a grand apology, many times they unwittingly hit a hot button or say something small that gets blown out of proportion.  When James asks, “What have you been doing all day?” that makes my blood boil.  I have to learn how to snap out of the defensive mode and answer the question calmly.  By the way, I have instructed him not to use this question anymore.

I am exhausted, really.  You have pressures with your work, caring for family members, and keeping your household running.  Those nights when you can’t barely brush your teeth let alone make love to your husband will come.  Do your best to carve out time each week for lovemaking when you’re not so tired.

I am preoccupied with all I have to do.  When your head hits the pillow, you’re not thinking what would feel best sexually.  You’re thinking of how you’re going to deal with that difficult person at work, what you’re going to wear to the party, and how you’re going to get to the grocery store tomorrow since the schedule’s so tight.  A place to jot your thoughts down before bed may help silence that nagging to-do list.

Can you identify with any of these roadblocks to intimacy?  Or is it something else that stands in the way of physical intimacy with your husband today or in the next few days?

Arlene Pellicane

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