In my book 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom, I say there are two kind of people.

One person says “I already know that…”

The other person says “Tell me more…”

If you fall into the “Tell me more…” camp, you are going to love author Sheila Wray Gregoire’s new book, 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage.

These 9 thoughts will revolutionize your home if you will let them.  The thoughts that really resonated with me were:

Thought #1:  My Husband is My Neighbor

The same kindness I would show a stranger selling Girl Scout cookies is the same kindness I want to show my husband every day.

Thought #2:  My Husband Can’t Make Me Mad

When my husband would say hastily, “Everyone in the car!” and I thought, “Whoa, I’m not even ready!” I would think of Sheila’s statement, “My husband can’t make me mad.  My husband can’t make me mad…

Thought #9:  If I’m Not Careful, We’ll Drift Apart

I like this action step Sheila presents:  Every day take five minutes and share your “consolation” and “desolation.” 

James and I have this little connecting habit each day.  At the end of the work day, when the kids are tucked in and the computers are off, we have our talking time in the bedroom.  I rub James feet while he listens to me talk about the day.  He talks to me about all the news of his day.  Sharing this time with physical touch and conversation keeps us both connected.  And of course it leads the way for Sheila’s Thought #8:  Having Sex is Not the Same as Making Love. 

If you don’t make regular investments of time and kindness in your marriage, you will be running on a deficit.  But if you’re careful to keep doing the things that made you attractive in the first place, you’ll stay close together through the decades.  Isn’t that what we all want?

By tinkering your thinking about your marriage, you can do some serious good.  As the book says on the cover…because a great relationship doesn’t happen by accident.

Do something on purpose today.  Pick up 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage by my friend Sheila Wray Gregoire.  I highly recommend it!



Arlene Pellicane

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