This past weekend, I had the pleasure of attending my 25th college reunion at Biola University.

What an amazing experience to remember when.  To remember all the prayers I prayed to God about my future.

Lord, show me what to do with my life. 

Lord, do you want me to go overseas to do missions? 

And of course, that passionate plea…

Lord, please find me a husband.  

The Lord has answered these prayers in wonderful ways through the years.  I am so grateful for my husband of 18 years.  I can’t believe I get to do my dream job of writing and speaking.  Growing Up Social was just translated into Hungarian and is in more than 8 languages.

Being with James at my alma mater reminded me of a few things all of us can do to return to the warmth of the dating days:

Seek your spouse physically. Remember cuddling up to your man? You could spend hours in his arms. You walked hand in hand. Kissing was pure delight. Bring back the power of physical touch and affection by kissing your husband passionately for at least 10 seconds every day.

Show off your appearance. Remember looking your best for date night? You watched your weight, wore your prettiest outfits, and never forgot to wear lipstick. If you show that same effort to look your best for your spouse today, it will make him feel valued and loved.

Smile and laugh often. Remember how funny life was when you were dating? I would guess that when you and your beloved got together, most of the time you were smiling. Keep it up – your husband desperately needs a positive oasis from the negativity that surrounds him.

Set aside time for mutual activities. Remember football games, bike rides, walks along the beach, or movie nights? Get the calendar out and plan an activity just for the two of you. Don’t let the routine responsibilities of life dominate your schedule. Carve out time for fun together at least once a month.

Share your dreams. Remember those heart to heart talks which left you knowing he was the one? Keep asking your husband about his dreams. What does he want to accomplish in the next year? In the next five? How can you support him in that endeavor? Share your dreams for your life, family, ministry and career. Keep believing that nothing is impossible for God.

Say little when it comes to criticism. Remember when you couldn’t praise your husband-to-be enough? You could talk for hours about how wonderful he was. Bring daily praise back into his life by noticing the big and little things he does for you. Be appreciative. Hold your tongue before sharing anything negative. Say seven positive comments for every negative comment you make.

You don’t need to attend a reunion to practice these romantic and loving behaviors.

Sometimes all it takes is remembering.






Arlene Pellicane

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