When I was writing the book, I did some research with the husbands and wives that attend a Sunday school class at my church. I asked what are the top five needs of a husband in marriage?
The answers for items 2-5 varied:
Affirmation, conversation, activities, appearance, friendship.
But the number one need was clearly sex.
Okay, if it’s no secret that men desire and need sexual fulfillment, why do we as wives sometimes have a hard time acting accordingly to meet that need?
I like how one expert I interviewed, author Bill Farrel put it for my book:
We all talk about a women’s cycle but I’ve got to tell you, there’s a cycle that men go through too. Every three or four days, a man’s body gets ready to have sex. There are times when guys don’t think straight, they don’t feel straight, and they are just grumpy and irritable until they can have sex. As soon as they have sex, they look at the world differently. A guy who’s married to a wife that will accept that and say, ‘I’m going to help you do better by sometimes having sex just because you want to.’ Those men are madly in love with those women because they can’t believe she actually understands.
Guys don’t see straight…grumpy…irritable…
Hmm, has your husband ever acted like that?
I love this insight that our husbands have a cycle too. We cannot sweep the subject of sex under the rug even if it’s uncomfortable to talk about it at times. Our marriages are too important to ignore sex and intimacy. Even if you have little kids running around the house or teenagers in the next room, you and your husband have to figure out how to have a great sex life together.
What are the things that stand in the way of a more fulfilling sex life with your man? Kids? Lack of time? Fatigue? Low desire?
(By the way, if you missed the last post about the “R” in DREAM which is Respect, you can Read more here).