This is my youngest child Lucy.  And her love language is definitely touch.

Although from the photo, you might think it was gifts. 

(If you’re not familiar with the Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, check it out here).

She’s constantly giving hugs, squeezes, and kisses.  She sits on laps.  When it’s naptime or bedtime, she asks me for “scratching” which means she wants her back scratched.

None of my other kids ever asked for their backs to be scratched!  Lucy will take my hand, put it on her back, and say “Scratch my back please!”

Being familiar with Dr. Gary Chapman’s love languages has helped me understand Lucy much better.  Touch is not my primary love language, so it’s something I must consciously remember:  Lucy likes lots of cuddling, holding, patting, and kissing.

And as a matter of fact, so does my husband James!

Consider this about physical touch from Dr. Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages of Children:

Much physical touch for the school-age child comes through playing games.  Basketball, football, and soccer are all contact sports.  When you are playing games together in the backyard, you are combining both quality time and physical touch.  But touch should not be limited to such play.  Running your hand through your child’s hair, touching him on the shoulder or arm, patting him on the back or leg, along with some encouraging words, are all meaningful expressions of love to a growing child.

A favorite kind of physical touch for many parents is to hold a child while reading a story.  This enables parents to maintain the touch for longer periods of time, something deeply meaningful to the child that becomes a lifelong memory.

I love and need that encouragement as a parent.  It doesn’t take much time to hug a child or read a book together.  And it makes a big difference!

If your child or husband has physical touch as one of their top love languages, be sure to give them an extra squeeze, pat on the back, hug and kiss today!


Arlene Pellicane

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