***This giveaway is now closed. Congrats to our winner Heather!***
Authors Debbie Hitchcock and Nina Roesner are new friends and I’m so glad to introduce their new book With All Due Respect to you about parenting teens.
I listened recently to Debbie’s interview with Family Life Today and the difficult time she had with her 16-year-old teenager (including the tough choice of boarding school). This a mother who fully grasps the struggle of loving and connecting with a challenging teen.
In their new book, Nina and Debbie help parents identify what successful relationships look like and give easy-to- follow lessons in enforcing rules, communicating lovingly, resetting relationships, overcoming fears and exhaustion, and handling rebellion.
Each day features a story every mom can relate to, down-to- earth questions to think about, and a prayer to launch an action plan. With All Due Respect is a great book for all parents seeking not only to connect more deeply with and positively impact their teens and tweens, but also to grow more deeply in faith through the process.
Here’s an excerpt from the book:
Loretta and Jacob pulled into the driveway. Immediately Jacob scurried from the car and commanded, “Be ready in ten minutes! And I’m hungry. Make me a sandwich!”
Hmm . . .
Loretta wondered if aliens had abducted her fourteen-year- old and replaced his brain with someone else’s. Her family never treated each other like that. Loretta decided not to respond while she was irritated and instead chose to wait before addressing the issue. Giving herself that time helped her stay calm.
“Thank You, Father, for this opportunity,” she whispered.
Knowing that teenagers are frequently in phases of hormonal flux, she also chose not to take his behavior personally. Loretta sensed the Lord’s prompting for a teachable moment, and instead of carrying out her son’s request, she went upstairs, lay down on her bed, and started reading a magazine.
Jacob burst into her room. “We have to leave! We’re going to be late. What are you doing? Where’s my sandwich?”
Oh my. Father, help me be Your love to this man/boy.
It was time to push the reset button.
“Jacob, I love that you have all these friends and fun things to do. I usually enjoy taking you places, and I love to see you spend time with your friends. However, I have noticed that you have been increasingly bossy the last few weeks, and though I’ve talked to you about this a few times, you haven’t changed your behavior. As a result, I’m not going to make you a sandwich, nor am I going to drive you over to your friend’s house. You can go, but I won’t be the one getting you there. If you want to walk, that’s fine,” she told him.
His mouth fell open, eyes wide. “But . . .”
Then she got up, left the room, and went out the front door to get the mail. She knew he needed to chew on what had just happened. She chose to give him space to process. When she came back in, Jacob was waiting.
“You’re right, Mom. I’ve been really rude and bossy. I’m sorry. I haven’t been respectful, and you don’t deserve to be treated like that. It must make you feel like I take you for granted. I really appreciate your driving me around and stuff. Will you forgive me?”
“Of course I forgive you. Thank you for understanding how I feel. I do feel taken for granted. I don’t want to feel that way in our relationship, and your apology and how you treat me in the future will impact that. Thank you,” she replied.
“So can we go?” he asked.
“Honey, you can go, but like I said, I’m not going to drive you over there. Let’s see how things go, and maybe tomorrow or the next day I’ll feel like driving you around again.”
“But you forgave me. I’m confused,” Jacob replied.
“I love you and I do forgive you, but there are consequences.”
Jacob eventually managed to talk his friend’s mom into coming to get him, and when he returned, he was a kinder, more respectful, gentler young man.
Bottom Line: Say what you mean, mean what you say, and keep your commitments—this will change your relationships!
To enter the giveaway to win a copy of With All Due Respect, leave a comment below with the ages of your teen(s). US entries only please.