This Sunday marks America’s 108th Father’s Day – one of my hubby’s favorite holidays!  It began as the idea of a church going woman in Spokane Washington.  She heard a Mother’s Day sermon and decided fathers should have their day too.  Her dad was a Civil War veteran and a single parent who had raised 6 kids.  Local pastors liked this idea and delivered sermons about dads the next year.

By the early 1920s, Hallmark jumped on board with cards to celebrate fathers and President Nixon declared it a holiday in 1972.

On Mother’s Day (and all the days surrounding it!), moms love to be pampered and appreciated.  Let’s do the same for our husbands to show them our respect and admiration.  Here are a few ways to give the gift of yourself to celebrate your hubby on Father’s Day:

Prioritize Your Marriage.  When kids come into the picture, women naturally throw themselves into nurturing those young lives.  Husbands tend to be put on the back burner for 18 years while parenting takes center stage.  After all, your husband is an adult and can help himself right?  But listen to what one husband had to say:

When a woman is engaged to be married, she pours all her nurture into her man.  She holds him, kisses him, and talks sweetly to him.  They have fun together, do interesting things together, and enjoy the physical affection of first love.  Then after they marry and have kids, all that nurture that went originally to the husband is suddenly transferred to the children.  The kids benefit from all the maternal instincts and become the primary focus of all her tender nurture.  The husband is just as needy for that nurture, but he is too proud to admit it.

Guess who said that?  My husband James!  I quoted him in my book 31 Days to a Happy Husband.  Remember that your husband craves your affection and care, but doesn’t want to beg for it. Yet he desperately wants tender loving care just like you do.

Nix the Nagging.  Imagine what life would be like if you constantly heard things like “When are you going to get around to taking me to dinner?” and “Why can’t you get the dishwasher fixed?”  None of us signed up for a stream of constant criticism when we got married.

There’s a verse in Proverbs which is actually repeated twice in Proverbs 21:9 and Proverbs 25:24, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”  If someone were to repeat all the things you say to your husband, would it be “news that’s fit to print?”  Make a commitment today to nix the nagging.

Get Physical.  Being sexually intimate with you means the world to your husband.  Psychologist David Clarke suggests having a regular dialogue with your husband about your sex life.  Ask each other, What can I do better?  What would you like from me?  Sex happens spontaneously and passionately on the big screen but rarely in real life if you’re a busy person.

“Working as a team, you schedule your sex,” says Dr. Clarke.  “Couples with kids that don’t schedule sex don’t have sex.  Or at least they don’t have it very often.  Here’s how it works.  If we schedule that we’re going to have sex in one or two days, we can both start getting prepared.  The man doesn’t need much time but the woman usually does.”

Wives feel appreciated emotionally.  Husbands feel appreciated physically.  Your husband needs not only the words, “I appreciate you being a great dad.”  He also needs physical touch to make that message come alive.  So plan a romantic evening.  Give a coupon book for massages.  Kiss for one minute a day for the rest of the month.  Do something physical to show your husband your affection.


Arlene Pellicane

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